I feel like my self-awareness has gone out the window. I fail to comprehend what is going on anymore, even just the little things.
I can’t process whether I feel like I’m being used by any friends of mine, I’ve become very defensive.
I feel like people should be working towards being my friend more anyway, but is that the mindset that actually gets me in trouble? It’s more of a thought in the back of my mind but it influences the outcome of my actions.
I don’t know what categorizes a good friendship, one that say, has, evolved. What makes up a good friendship? Kindness?
How do I not feel hostile when I don’t want to, when I shouldn’t? Why does a simple “hello” have to be so complicated.
Do I have to feel like I need to shoot an extra friendly welcome, or do I try to remain lax and cool in front of a fellow peer? But because I also should for myself.
Have I become a monster? Why can’t I muster the ability to carry all this information whole all throughout the time.